I’ve always been a spiritual person. I believe that for me being spiritual is seeking connection with all life. As a young girl, I really didn’t know what that really meant beyond being in a family and doing what my parents told me to do. That included their religious beliefs. Growing up my Mom was a Jehovah’s Witness and my Father didn’t even believe in God.
However, as I grew up, I became more aware of my desire to live a life connected. Connected to what? God? I really wanted to feel loved by my parents, family and friends and it seemed that the only place I was told that I could get real unconditional love was from God/Jesus. And if I did exactly what they told me to do in the church, I would have a good life on earth and be guaranteed life in heaven after I died.
As an open person, I listened and hoped and I was led down a path of hypocrisies, violence, judgments and abuse. This was not the path for me.
I did everything they told me to do and if I questioned anything, I was told that a demonic force was influencing me. The church minister told me that I had a lustful demon because I didn’t believe that sex before marriage was a sin. I was controlled by scripture, not real conversation of an understanding that I was a growing young girl.
I witnessed my own mother attempt to find peace within herself and her relationship with God through the religious beliefs she was following that eventually led her into more pain. My father didn’t even believe in any type of God and that funneled itself into a deeper disconnect within himself and his relationship with me.
I must have a purpose I believed, because I had a need for something more. Eventually that purpose brought me into a deeper personal relationship with myself and it opened my spirit to seek connection with that purpose. My purpose was and is to live my divine birthright of prosperity on earth.
Why must I believe I am born in sin?
In the several decades that followed I was able to finally realize that there was no way I could live a truly Christian life. The level of abuse in all fundamental religions outweighed any truth that I could find that supported why I would follow one.
With that decision being made, I sought to heal and live differently through an alternative life style. Choosing to learn how to breathe and meditate led me to learning about the Chakras and so on. It helped me gain the strength to leave unhealthy and toxic relationships. I was never given those types of choices with the Christian or Catholic Churches. It was always my fault somehow. Not that these people around you are toxic and abusive.
In the alternative lifestyle, I learned to take responsibility for my choices and I went into straight therapy and spiritual counseling to deal with my family issues and traumas. Stepping further away from this old programming I studied Reiki and Hypnotherapy and with my spiritual desires growing, I was on the Goddess path. I went into seminary and was ordained an interfaith minister and some years after, I was initiated Goddess. I would start to study shamanism which eventually led me to trying Psychedelics, specifically psilocybin. Doing shrooms helped me to work through and release serious blocks in my unconscious and consciousness because of trauma that I experienced with my family and in the church. It continues to help me rise and thrive today.
There are many negative messages about meditation or using psychedelics from the christian community because they say that using them can cause real harm to your soul by opening the doors to another dimension where demons live. I was told this for years. I was told by the church that mediation was a sin. That watching certain tv shows was a sin. That metaphysics was a sin. That hypnosis was a sin. That sex was a sin. That thoughts were a sin.
However, the level of abuse, lies and weak people speaking from the pulpit showed me that no amount of bad trips or demonic dimensions could ever fuck up my soul the way these people did in the fundamental churches I followed. I have learned that I am different. That I am not meant to live a fundamental life. I have learned that I am truly responsible for what I do with my body mind and soul and where I take it. That choice alone brings tremendous opportunity for happiness. Because I am not a victim, I am a spiritual person.
I have questioned myself over the years as my life grew better in my alternative lifestyle, if I am doing the right thing. I was so programmed and abused by the “Born Again” church, that I kept hearing and was haunted by the phrase, “you are going to hell” in my head or in my dreams always, no matter how much better my life became.
Truth demonstrated itself in my life through my purpose to live my divine birthright of prosperity on earth and still I was haunted by this sickening thought the church injected me with. 30 years later I still found myself seeking to get confirmation that I am okay through my psychedelic journeys. And it wasn’t until one day that my amazing husband came across an article about DMT and why exploring it will put your soul and sanity in grave peril, which he questioned if he should even tell me about, because he has been witness to the haunting statement that led me though many night terrors. However at the time he found this article I had already had two DMT trips and I had planned to continue dong it. I totally blasted off and it was amazing for me. However on my first trip I went there desperately hoping they would tell me that I was good. That everything I have been doing was right for me and I was not going to hell. He wasn’t sure if sharing the article would add to my haunting thoughts or not. But he knew that I was on the DMT track and that’s why he shared this article with me to show the other side or the negative thoughts about it.
So after reading this warning article from a Christian, I realized something actually amazing for me. I must answer that question, “Am I going to Hell” for myself! Everyone is not the same. Paths are different for us all and how can we know what our paths are if we don’t search? Regardless of the warnings in this article about seeing demons in the other dimensions and what harm this will do to our souls, I understand that my last true healing is to answer this haunting question for myself. I opened myself up to Christian people and their agenda to “save me” by any means necessary. Mostly through fear and the promise of Hell if I don’t behave.
I’ve spent decades healing from the damage that the catholic and christian born again church did to me. I encountered real demons on earth that truly harmed my spirit and soul. For me, I choose a path of alternative life that I can take ownership in. I am not a victim when I journey. If a person takes psychedelics and has a harmful experience, and they realize that that is not the path for them, I pray they will be able to release themselves from the harm, heal and move on.
What I know for me, is that there is no way that any religion that allows for sexual abuse of children and violence towards women etc. and ongoing lies and hypocrisies to tell me that if I do something different from them or what they told me, I am going to hell or that my soul will be lost.
I’ve learned and am continuing to grow to know, that the most important thing in living on earth is to honor and love one another. To Love is Oneness, what I do to you I do to myself. We must heal the past of separatist consciousness and honor how we choose to live and expand on earth. To live a life of Divine Birthright Of Prosperity on Earth.
There is no one person or family or group of people that is special or better than another. We are all special to get to live on the earth and build a world with other living beings. I’ve felt this connection deeply when I traveled with DMT.
So find your path, heal your wounds if you have any from the past and own your choices. Fundamentalism may be your way, alternative may be your way, psychedelics may be your way. Know for yourself.
May we all rise in our Divine Birthright of Prosperity on Earth.
And So It Is…..
Reverend Goddess Charmaine